Friday, March 10, 2006
shouldn't care
i shouldn't care about it anymore... but hell, i do
i shouldn't spend more time thinking about that puzzle... but i want to know for sure if everything that has been suggested is true (even if it hurts)... i can't get more traces nor signs to settle everything perfectly... even so, it stands by itself with what i got until now... and i only would like to know why did that person did that...
i shouldn't... but i do
when was the last time i throw myself to an empty pool? many times... but i've come through, would it be due to my knowledge of what i was getting into? hell, so i can't complain, may be i trusted more than i should (as usual)... the past is gone, am i lying? so naive, too naive
and i know you won't come back... and i know that you hide lots of things, regardless of how alluring you were... if there was something true, what was it?
let live and die... oh hell i made i mistake, just live and let die... leave and live ... and die
why do we get into this kind of things? why are we, humans, so stupid to step more than once over the same stone? we know what could hurt us, even so, we go, we try, we fall... may be hoping that someday we won't fall, it won't hurt, we'll get better than before, and at last, may be, at last, we won't have to take care about it anymore... but here i am again, once again thinking of what am i going to wear tonight, thinking of how am i going to deal with that guy if he shows up, sometimes getting strayed in my fantasies with that stupid dream of him getting in the club saying all what i think he should... but it won't happen, not in this world, it would be so easy... yet so hard to be... so i gotta keep going with what i've got, with my success and failures, virtues and sins, i'm just another human being in this place... just another one.
Living alone, isn't it what i wanted for years? yes, indeed, and i love it... but there's something that doesn't depend on me at all, people i deal with everyday. Until now, most of them have been very nice, i can't complain, but sometimes (why do i?) trust in those that are not as sincere as i thought they were, well, it happens. can't blame them. it's the way it is...
Pushing myself to remember, playing those songs that i, inevitability, will associate with those moments... even when i know that it will hurt a little bit, yet i, inevitability, will find more reasons why stand up and do what i have to do and like... dissappear... just when i want to... just when i need to.
Now, as strayed as i am, don't know what else i could say without writing a name, this feeling doesn't goes away... sometimes i wish it would have been just an illusion, but it doesn't change, sometimes i wish i would be as easy as finding someone else, whoever, and pretend that i can use it to replace and forget, but it doesn't work that way. I've screwed myself, it doesn' work... can't help it... can't help it... just like this songs says "y cada noche vendra una estrella a hacerme compaia, que te cuente como estoy y sepas lo que hay..." or maybe (hell, Faith no more has a good version!) that song that fitted so perfectly: "sounds funny but i just can't stand the pain/.../i'm leaving you tomorrow/.../easy like sunday morning"... but i must admit, that there's one that i like a lot and it says "...good times never seemed so good"...
LIVE and let DIE
i shouldn't spend more time thinking about that puzzle... but i want to know for sure if everything that has been suggested is true (even if it hurts)... i can't get more traces nor signs to settle everything perfectly... even so, it stands by itself with what i got until now... and i only would like to know why did that person did that...
i shouldn't... but i do
when was the last time i throw myself to an empty pool? many times... but i've come through, would it be due to my knowledge of what i was getting into? hell, so i can't complain, may be i trusted more than i should (as usual)... the past is gone, am i lying? so naive, too naive
and i know you won't come back... and i know that you hide lots of things, regardless of how alluring you were... if there was something true, what was it?
let live and die... oh hell i made i mistake, just live and let die... leave and live ... and die
why do we get into this kind of things? why are we, humans, so stupid to step more than once over the same stone? we know what could hurt us, even so, we go, we try, we fall... may be hoping that someday we won't fall, it won't hurt, we'll get better than before, and at last, may be, at last, we won't have to take care about it anymore... but here i am again, once again thinking of what am i going to wear tonight, thinking of how am i going to deal with that guy if he shows up, sometimes getting strayed in my fantasies with that stupid dream of him getting in the club saying all what i think he should... but it won't happen, not in this world, it would be so easy... yet so hard to be... so i gotta keep going with what i've got, with my success and failures, virtues and sins, i'm just another human being in this place... just another one.
Living alone, isn't it what i wanted for years? yes, indeed, and i love it... but there's something that doesn't depend on me at all, people i deal with everyday. Until now, most of them have been very nice, i can't complain, but sometimes (why do i?) trust in those that are not as sincere as i thought they were, well, it happens. can't blame them. it's the way it is...
Pushing myself to remember, playing those songs that i, inevitability, will associate with those moments... even when i know that it will hurt a little bit, yet i, inevitability, will find more reasons why stand up and do what i have to do and like... dissappear... just when i want to... just when i need to.
Now, as strayed as i am, don't know what else i could say without writing a name, this feeling doesn't goes away... sometimes i wish it would have been just an illusion, but it doesn't change, sometimes i wish i would be as easy as finding someone else, whoever, and pretend that i can use it to replace and forget, but it doesn't work that way. I've screwed myself, it doesn' work... can't help it... can't help it... just like this songs says "y cada noche vendra una estrella a hacerme compaia, que te cuente como estoy y sepas lo que hay..." or maybe (hell, Faith no more has a good version!) that song that fitted so perfectly: "sounds funny but i just can't stand the pain/.../i'm leaving you tomorrow/.../easy like sunday morning"... but i must admit, that there's one that i like a lot and it says "...good times never seemed so good"...
LIVE and let DIE
# posted by Greta @ 19:11 
