Tuesday, April 04, 2006
server connection has failed
written the last night... boondock saints soundtrack in the air
strange feeling, i've got nothing to do with this kind of music but i still like it a lot, the feeling of freedom, loneliness, uncertainty and good will to fight for those things that are good in this world mixed in a single second... without turning back to see my relatives who might be crying for seeing me walking away to some place where i'll be a strange regardless of the first friends i've made there or those i'll make...
adventure, am i old for this? i can't tell, but this is starting for me
a little tear might try to shed from my eyes... i might hold my breath with every step that takes me away from this place that i called home for a very, very long time, my whole life.. but what can you do when you can't find yourself growing more in the same place? what can you do but moving somewhere else and place your new roots there if it's needed to? travelers, aren't we all?
adventure, am i old for this? i can't tell, but this is starting for me
a little tear might try to shed from my eyes... i might hold my breath with every step that takes me away from this place that i called home for a very, very long time, my whole life.. but what can you do when you can't find yourself growing more in the same place? what can you do but moving somewhere else and place your new roots there if it's needed to? travelers, aren't we all?
that's how this started once... someone looking for a different place, better in some ways, worse in others, but different at the end... an alien
wind blowing, it hits my face but i still can keep my eyes open to see my path, it's pushing me back, wind's always been my friend, may be it's trying to keep me away from trouble by keeping me at home "trouble will be everywhere, my dear, please don't interfere, with or without you against my way i'll keep going on 'cos it's what i've decided, just like the day i decided we could be friends in this strange way we are, thank you for taking care of me, thank you a lot"... it's still hitting my face but it doesn't cut, it doesn't push me back anymore, it understood... wind let me go
moving my feet fast, as quick as i never did before, i have no time to lose today, so i'll better run... mountains everywhere, it's been a while since the last time i saw the sunset over the sea, that smell of salt on the air, those reds and oranges dying until they become blue, deep blue and dark, black by night with no many stars to teach me where to look, but the moon, always present even "behind" the clouds that always rule the sky of the place i called home... cloudy, humid, cloudy like a thin gray veil placed all over the city, jealousy of letting another meteor to show its beauty before it, or maybe just protecting us from those deadly uv rays and giving our sea more life with its influence, don't know... it's been a while since i saw it for the last time.
there's no time to look back, i can't allow myself regreting this, i can't allow myself to miss someone or something, i knew i'd be traveling a lot, i knew i'd be leaving everything behind. Will someone remember me when i'm gone? now i can't tell either since i'm not there to ask them and find the truth. does it really matters? i don't think so, i did what i had and felt each time i could, i gave everything i thought should be given and i don't want anything back for it was granted sincerily, but if i was fooled? i'm a happy fool or may be i was keen enough to keep the role even when i noticed the trick behind, and didn't i exposed them? 'cos i thought it would break the chance of both of us to take the best of each one and make it even better, the chance to grow up... yes, i'm a fool, a happy foolish monkey, trickery and smiley girl who runs and jumps and laughs 'cos there's always a reason for it, i'm the fool who will be happy to play that role 'cos my deal is to do not ever being noticed, 'cos sometimes i find that it's better to pretend to be the apprenctice to be wise who plays the fool to learn more, have i learned something with it? well, it seems i've done, and since it's been working all this time, i'll keep doing it.
i have to chase my kite, i have to chase my wings, i have to chase all those things i thought were lost forever but, what a fool i was!, they were always with me... 'cos i could never lose myself, even when i felt like i was somewhere else... i'll never be alone as long as i'm true to myself...
# posted by Greta @ 16:45 
