Wednesday, April 26, 2006
static quest
after a very inspired blog got lost on the inet (Server not found) that dealt about catching fishes, violinist cats, ghost and a very obvious confession... oh, and tried to find myself to write something decent... here I am... unrequested (you don't have to keep the subscription, you can cancel it if you want, I mean it :) ), unleashed and underweared!
well, whoever said that it took 3 times the time you had a crush or were in love with someone to forget about them was quite imprecise... hell, it's been what, 3 months and something? yeah, and I still remember him... I recognize that I gave my word to "remember" him but hell, this is getting ridiculous, I mean, it's not like there are bad memories and it's painful to remember, it's not like I'm longing him nor like I'm waiting for him... it's odd.
On one side I've got my logical part, laughing at this result (that was expected) and like a severed part of myself which just says "I told you, you can't claim ignorance nor innocence, you were aware of what was going on and every report of the case was analized and until now, regardless of the reports that might give you arguments to support the theory that all was just a game, you still want to believe it was true... so don't ask for more answers in this department since more data would be needed to process what is left about it... but I can live without those answers, weren't you happy to live what you lived with him? so live the present and keep going on"... on the other side my emotional part (severed too) says "i've looked, listened, analized, i might have been fooled but i don't feel like i was, everything i gave i did 'cos i felt he deserved it for the way he was... he's the closest to the ideal... i really wish him the best. whatever i do for someone i don't expect anything in return, it's granted 'cos i consider they deserve it..."... so there I am, in the middle deciding, the "roller-coaster" feeling is still there when i recall those moments, i can't help smiling, it's so exciting, so lively, so... unusual, almost like a dream... anyway... life's more surprising than fiction, though i don't think it'll be the same if we meet again (if we ever do)... people have more experiences, live and grow in some way, they might change some facts and ideas they had in order to keep the rhythm with the life they have and it's with those changes that people can test their own essence, be truth to oneself and all that stuff that gives life that delicious flavor (hahaha, always relating everything with food!)
whatever... it was good to write today... :D
# posted by Greta @ 14:24 
