Saturday, July 05, 2008
there was a time
there are things that go through our lives, tken almost like granted, guaranteed, as solid as the earth we live on... but as we grow we leave it or it leaves us, either way, nothing's forever...
there was a time i would stare at the clock, holding my spoon full of the soup i was eating patiently, and caressly i would think "and in a couple of hours I'll watch Samurai X". Predictable, simple, redundantly without complications and I was happy, not because nothing was out of control... because there was nothing to worry about. Life was incredibly easy for me.
It was easy to fly away with some stories, I barely had to pay attention to the current events to get through them successfully... and although most of my decisions about my life were heavily influenced by others they luckily suited my own desires. Irresponsible I was, in most extents. Tasks were given to me and my own responsibility was to succeed, no less, no more... my pride was too strong to allow myself any other choice. Failure was unthinkable and in fact I was a lucky first timer in many things I did.
But... my luck didn't last forever. like a credit card, the bill finally arrived and piled one above another as I tried to deny my responsibility on that. Alright, I did the tasks I was given, but it was ages since the last time I took charge of the first and primary task I had, given by no one but myself: my own life. How I got to pay it, easy, with the precise amount of sorrow, pain and tears, regrets are and never were part of the currency, they are just the old bills at the bottom of a pocket that get stuck when you wash them. They are useless but to leave white fibers everywhere, so the best thing to do is to get rid of them.
I remember when the wolf and the manslayer fought, it was the most amazing fight I saw ever, even now. I remember the look, I remember the eyes, I remember the character, the tension. I would swear I was there too. the thin line between this and that reality was trespassed once again, 10 minutes? more than enough. That was the time needed to change everything in that story and those character's lives. No one can deny what lies in their own nature, in their own heart.
I was. I am. I will be.
Two of them don't matter at all. Only present matters.
There was a time I would stare at the clock without worries on time, yesterday or tomorrow. There was a time I didn't care about time. And I knew happiness.
(part of Heart of Sword, by TM Revolution, Rurouni Kenshin, 3rd ending)
Hitori de wa, tooi ashita wo (When I'm alone, tomorrow feels far away.)
Yoake no mama de, koesou de (And I must go over still into the darkness of dawn)
there was a time i would stare at the clock, holding my spoon full of the soup i was eating patiently, and caressly i would think "and in a couple of hours I'll watch Samurai X". Predictable, simple, redundantly without complications and I was happy, not because nothing was out of control... because there was nothing to worry about. Life was incredibly easy for me.
It was easy to fly away with some stories, I barely had to pay attention to the current events to get through them successfully... and although most of my decisions about my life were heavily influenced by others they luckily suited my own desires. Irresponsible I was, in most extents. Tasks were given to me and my own responsibility was to succeed, no less, no more... my pride was too strong to allow myself any other choice. Failure was unthinkable and in fact I was a lucky first timer in many things I did.
But... my luck didn't last forever. like a credit card, the bill finally arrived and piled one above another as I tried to deny my responsibility on that. Alright, I did the tasks I was given, but it was ages since the last time I took charge of the first and primary task I had, given by no one but myself: my own life. How I got to pay it, easy, with the precise amount of sorrow, pain and tears, regrets are and never were part of the currency, they are just the old bills at the bottom of a pocket that get stuck when you wash them. They are useless but to leave white fibers everywhere, so the best thing to do is to get rid of them.
I remember when the wolf and the manslayer fought, it was the most amazing fight I saw ever, even now. I remember the look, I remember the eyes, I remember the character, the tension. I would swear I was there too. the thin line between this and that reality was trespassed once again, 10 minutes? more than enough. That was the time needed to change everything in that story and those character's lives. No one can deny what lies in their own nature, in their own heart.
I was. I am. I will be.
Two of them don't matter at all. Only present matters.
There was a time I would stare at the clock without worries on time, yesterday or tomorrow. There was a time I didn't care about time. And I knew happiness.
(part of Heart of Sword, by TM Revolution, Rurouni Kenshin, 3rd ending)
Hitori de wa, tooi ashita wo (When I'm alone, tomorrow feels far away.)
Yoake no mama de, koesou de (And I must go over still into the darkness of dawn)
# posted by Greta @ 02:18 
