Wednesday, June 14, 2006
short
"trust me" was never said... yet i did... that's why i'm walking back home alone again, wondering if all that was said was true...
"trusting someone shouldn't be that hard, people makes it hard" even so, knowing it i did, i'm closer to the place i sleep, or i'll just change my clothes to go out again
"i don't think we'll ever meet again" i thought, that idea struck my mind as fast as i discarded any other chance, trying to put everything in that big bag of past and "try to forget" things... "it should be easier, i mean, it's my mind isn't it?... but hell it is not"
i was looking at that amount of snow at my door, "i should make time to play with it before it melts" then i thought about the ridiculous metaphore relating to what happened, "that's insane, i'm sabotaging myself", opened my door, got in and just took a shower and changed my clothes, and got out, i don't want to let myself lie on the bed and stare at the roof's imperfections letting my mind find patterns which will remind me the latest events... go out... go out... even when i know that i won't be able to escape from myself and i don't wanna die, not now... i just... want to do something else, ok?
i was packing my stuff, this will be over soon, and in another place this will be easier to forget, there are a lot of things better to do, there's a lot of exciting people, new situations, i'll be so busy that i won't realise when the time is gone completely... i guess it happens to everyone
theres a lot unknown between... and we'll live with that all the time, trusting, hoping, relying on them without any "real" argument but our subjective beliefs, trying to open our eyes in a world that demands us to keep them close and walk
i'm with my crew, my people, my friends, we're laughing, they're happy for having this time all together... even so, that missing part, hell could i give myself a break?
this place is amazing, much better than the first time i came
these are odd events, and it helped me in a very odd way to get over a lot of things... my blood still calls for something which isn't here... so i guess i must go for it wherever it is, whatever it is...
that's how we weave our lives, sometimes reality overcomes fiction, sometimes it can be incredibly boring but it'll be just because the cast doesn't want to make it change... the script is on our hands and we can do with it whatever we want, sometime it'll require us to go against the plot we're into, it'll require more courage and effort, but in the end, it won't stay the way we didn't want it to be... we'll be able to see how it was only when we die
# posted by Greta @ 23:59 
